The day wasn't a waste either because I looked over my booknotes on Ishmael Beah's book, A Long Way Gone. 
He tells his incredibly painful and gruesome memoir about surviving his
war-torn country as a child soldier, and then turning things around to
instill a future hope.  To be quite honest, the last time I fixed my
eyes to read every word written in this genre was when my high school
AP English teacher required for all her students to read Elie Wiesel's book, Night,
which became one of my favorite books soon after finishing the book. 
Beah's writing consumed my mind that at times, I had to take a break
just to shake off some of the dreadful angst built around his writing. 
Beah has so much soul in his writing--it comes to life.  I recommend
that you try reading this book, but be prepared to go through the
darker emotion when you read Beah's memoir.

Thank you all, friends and family, for your thoughtfulness.  I stayed home and I took it really easy.  Usually, I'm really energetic and I try to fit all I can in one day.  I guess that wouldn't be the wisest thing for me to do today, especially because I have to save all my energy for the conference that I need to present a workshop for, this coming Saturday at UCLA for the National Writing Project.  I fear not being able to give a good presentation on Saturday because of this illness.  Even worse, I fear that my students are not going to do well on their quarter exams, because I feel that they really need my help.  Can't afford to fall behind.  Oh my, I wish I had more physical strength to finish what I wanted to accomplish--not quite completely at 100%, but I will get there.  Lord, help me get there!

And these are just some more thoughts that are taking up space in my heart, that I might as well write down...

1.  We're given protection under the condition that we give earnest heed to the voice of the Lord.
Exodus 15:26
And He said, "If you will give earnest heed to the voice of the LORD
your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give ear to His
commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the
diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the LORD, am
your healer."

2.  I'm keeping some of you dear friends closely in my prayers (you know who you are) for these lonely times.  God sees all that is going on and sees what we all are going through.  Luv you, guys!
El Roi= the God who sees
Genesis 16:13
Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, "You are a God
who sees"; for she said, "Have I even remained alive here after seeing
Him?"

Psalm  147:3
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.

I called my substitute teacher friend to tell him that I need him to come in for me today.  He's a really cool guy, really funny.  Real good with kids, but has a little bit of a potty mouth.  We have this kind of brother-sister relationship at work where he can totally make fun of me, and I don't care.  I called him late last night, like around 10pm.  It was a last minute decision to call in sick.

Me:  [raspy voice] Hello, Ed?  It's Liz, from Catskill.
Ed: Liz?  Whoa!!! [laughs out loud]  You sound like sh**!  Haha! Oh my gosh, damn, girl!  Didn't even recognize this voice was you.
Me:  I'm not coming in.  I don't even have lesson plans ready for you, sorry.
Ed:  Holy s***, Liz!  Haha!
Me:  I know, I know...I don't have anything ready for you.  Just do your thing, amuse them.  Whateva!
Ed:  Don't worry, I'll be there tomorrow. Sh*****t, Liz!...haha, get some rest girl.
Me:  Thanks. 

That was the last word I said.  I haven't spoken a word since then because I have to get my voice back by Saturday.  I really thought I was getting better, taking 2 days to rest and just read books all day.  I started feeling worse yesterday, when I went back to work and I stuck it out just to get the kids prepped for testing. 

This morning, I woke up at 5:17am.  That's really early!  I had nothing better to do but grade tests, comment on student essays, fold  and organize laundry into drawers, cook breakfast and erase phone numbers I don't call on the cell. The East Coast friends on my IM window were online, so I pretty much got updated on their lives, the current event stuff.  They were helping me feel better by IM'ing funny YouTube videos.  I was bored as hell trying to keep myself occupied here at home--illness, day 5. 

My mom is back home in the Philippines.  I hope she's having a good time.  When she returns, she'll be very excited.  I am giving her the keys to my old white car.  My car isn't so special, but she really likes mine for some reason. I really like it too, got attached to it.  She's been wanting to have her own car to drive, but she wants my car because it's so simple for her to use.  My car's engine runs really well, and I've never had to spend any money on major repairs.  For a 1996 Toyota Corolla model, my old car only has 99K miles.  That is super low, for living in the commuter capital city of Los Angeles, CA!  It's because I live less than 5 minutes away from my job.  It's like I hardly even drove it around and I took special care of it!   The engine is still runs very quietly and it can still take long trips.  The only thing is the paint starting to chip off, but it's hardly even noticeable.  Paint is just a cosmetic thing.  Wow, my mom is so fortunate to have a car that I've owned for the longest time.  I've had it since college!

My car is in such great condition that my co-worker Phil, was offering to buy it off from me because he owns a big truck.  He wanted a basic commuter car because he travels from Cerritos to Carson everyday for work.  If my mom didn't love my car so much, I would have sold it to Phil.  Mom's so blessed, she gets a great car!  I'm happy that I can now give it her!  I know that car will be safe for her to use.

I am sick.  I had a fever the night before, and my throat was sore--prayed to the Lord Jesus Christ
that I would not lose my voice, not for the next 6 hours while I would
be in front of the kids working. I'm not joking, either.  I still had to get dressed for work and tough it out with the kids for 6 hours.  We've been having Writer's Workshop, and I just cannot afford to lose 1 day of writing workshop with the kids.  It will set all the kids back, and it will kill me to fall behind one more day if I get swamped with double the work.  Unlike teaching in high school and college, falling behind as an elementary classroom teacher is much worse because it feels like your whole classroom of kids are sinking and suffocating in a pool of quicksand.  It was hard to show up for work, but it was definitely the responsibility of answer my calling that kept me from calling a substitute teacher.  Extra Strength Tylenol capsules saved me just enough to make it through the work day.

As I was getting ready for
work this morning, I was listening to a pastor (radio broadcast) give a
message on the difference between being called to serve God vs. being
driven to serve God. I thought it was rather engaging, because we all
have our own way of serving God--there's not just one way.  (I didn't get to hear the entire message, only the beginning, because it was my turn to treat my co-workers for breakfast.  I had to prepare breakfast for our grade level meeting.  I was really bummed that I didn't get to hear the whole thing!)  The introduction of the pastor's message had me thinking about two words, which clung to my mind--driven or called?  Or am I falling short of being driven, and short of answering a calling.  Or am I perhaps just maintaining?  Or am I in survival mode?

Books are great for the distance marathon readers, but magazines are a real treat to read for those who like "sprinting" kind of reading. 

My love for reading magazines began in the 6th grade, when I had a big crush on Joey McIntyre of New Kids on the Block.  I had to sneak over to the nearest 7-Eleven on Saturday mornings to browse through those teen magazines. My mother refused to pay for me to read celebrity tabloids at such a young age.  It was foolishness to her.  Meanwhile, she was fine reading her Filipino Kislap and Moviestar tabloids.  I would hide in the laundry room after I finished my homework, and read her Kislap and Moviestar Filipino tabloids for fun.  Pictures of really cute Filipino guys were on it, so why not?  By the way, that is how I learned to read and write in Tagalog--by reading Filipino tabloids.

Then when I started junior high school, my mother broke down finally allowed me to have my own subscriptions to Sassy, YM and Seventeen.  I had to use the money I earned from babysitting to pay for the subscriptions.  I think my mom found that those magazines, if read with good discernment, can provide information.  A lot of the time it was pretty much superficial stuff, but at least it provided a gateway for my mother and I to have those important discussions.  I believe that my mom knew that I read about the variety of contraceptives, before having that semester of health class in 7th grade.  I learned about the effects of drugs and alcohol, which only made me even more curious instead of deter me from it.  I learned way too much information about how to flirt and attract a guy.  The only part that wasn't so bad was the fashion and the makeup sections.  The articles about the newest styles in clothing and makeup really fascinated me!  Being a liberal-minded, I'm glad my mother didn't shelter me from those magazines and try to lock me away from all that worldly information.  I liked how she really talked to me--and she talked to me in such a way that I would listen and take heed.  However, the problem I had with those magazines is that it points to emptiness--I never felt fashionable enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, tall enough, popular enough and Caucasian enough to match up.  The world's standards are set to a different frequency that I felt alien to!

When I became a Christian, I was only 13 years old.  Although my parents are Christians by faith, they really weren't too in-tune with any spiritual readings.  It was pretty much hear absorb what the can at church, and that was that. They couldn't really disciple me spiritually, so a mentor helped me by giving me the quarterly devotional magazine Our Daily Bread.  It's a pocket-size quarterly magazine that offered spiritual words of wisdom and enlightened me on the Scripture.  I remember reading the pages during my 20-minutes of homeroom time and I would even memorize the Scriptures that held special resonance in my heart.  In that 8th grade year, I started to really take interest in reading the Bible, starting with the Gospel and the book of Psalms. It fascinated me to read about the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Psalms helped me to see for myself how God isn't just some invented myth.  Praying to God became real, and not so much the repetitive, memorized and hocus-pocus-abra-cadabra spiritless chanting.  I can be real with God, tell Him anything, because He is being real with me.  I also began my collection of books that began with Elizabeth Elliot and C.S. Lewis. Sassy, YM and Seventeen was oversaturated with writings that didn't quite give me a lasting inspiration, the way God's Word did. 

Today, as an adult it is such a treat for me to wake up on Saturday mornings to read my magazines stacked at bedside.  I still enjoy the fashion magazines, and I like to be "in the know" of what is going on with culture.  I'm addicted to magazines!  There is the convenience of pulling articles from the internet, but there's just something different and fun about thumbing through glossy pages of magazines, looking at the artwork, layout and print.  With educator's discounts and tax write-offs available, I don't mind paying for the fees.  These are the magazines that I subscribe to:

• The Rolling Stone
• Real Simple
• Self
• Allure
• In Style
• US News & World Report
• Education Week
• Discipleship Journal
• Christianity Today
• Books & Culture-A Christian Review

*Sigh*  What a bad day, hard, awful, no good day.  Thank God days can only last 24 hours--no more, no less! 

I'm trying to be really patient with people.  I'm trying to keep my cool, keep calm, hold myself back from saying things that might turn ugly.

And this too shall pass...God, save me!

Thank you for all the hugs.  They mean a lot to me right now.  I feel the luv!

Usually when I think about how my day went, I can name a couple good things to rest my head thinking and being grateful about.  Tonight, however, I knew I had a bad day.  I probably won't go to bed until I resolve things.

My thoughts are really jumbled up and down this morning, as I hear more about who is affected by the Southern California brushfires.  Living in SoCali is bizarre.  You hear about "earthquake weather" and know what that is.  You also know about Santa Ana winds causing the ideal "fire weather".  One time, as I was watching TV the Emergency Broadcasting System interrupted my American Idol show and let out the longest "BEEEEEP" about a tsunami warning in the Redondo Beach through Manhattan Beach area.  You know just exactly what I'm talking about if you're from around SoCali and live just within a 1 hour driving distance away from the beautiful mountains, forest and beaches.

Sunday morning, my dad told me how close the fires were to Pepperdine (my alma matter).  I learned that Malibu Presbyterian was charred down on ABC News.  That was the church I used to attend while I was in college--a beautiful church that sits perfectly overlooking the forest, hills and ocean, I must say!  It was one of the churches I thought I'd want to have a wedding ceremony in.  There was not one TV station that didn't broadcast the updates on the destructive fires here in Southern California.  To make light of the situation, it was kind of an inside joke for students at Pepperdine (Malibu campus) to be aware of the the holistic Pepperdine experience--is not without mudslides heavy rain season, the scary brush fire evacuation...maybe even a Pacific Ocean tsunami.  Of course, when that kind of destruction is really happening around you, there's no making light of any state of emergency situation!

I also learned that a couple people I know are affected by these California brushfires.  It's hard to imagine for my family and friends, just how quickly they had to decide what to pack up and what to leave behind just in case the untamed brush fires do decide to sweep over and ravage their homes.  A couple of my friends who's homes may be in danger, called me up and asked me to pray for them during their evacuation yesterday.  Their voices sounded scared, vulnerable and uncertain.

As I left for work yesterday morning, the sky looked gray, orange, and eerie.  I could smell the scent of ashes, even though I live 35 miles away from the closest disaster.  The air smelled like winter logs burning in a fireplace, only it wasn't a good thing.  There was a heavy film of soot I found on my white car as ashes "brown snow" down all over Los Angeles.  The air quality was horrible yesterday, and we kept everyone indoors during recess and lunch recess.  No one was on the playground for PE.  The playground was completely covered with ashes that were falling from the sky.  The layer of ash was so thick, you could kick it up in the air!  My nose was irritated and my eyes were itchy from the pollution.  Some of my students had to go down to the nurse's office to use their inhalers.  The pollution caused by the fire weakened some of my students who suffer from severe asthma.  It was difficult to operate on normal schedule when we are all thinking about what is happening around us, and thinking about who's being affected by this fiery phenomenon. 

I'm still getting emails from friends requesting for prayer because the fire is moving "a little too close for comfort".

I just hope to God that everyone is safe from danger. 

Please keep me updated on your situation.  You can call, text or drop me an instant message.  *Hugs*

It was a blustery Friday evening at the Redondo Beach Pier.  Jenny was wearing her gray wool trench coat, holding her cup of pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.  I was wearing my black wool trench coat, black 2-inch heeled leather boots, while holding my personalized grande cup of caramel macchiato coffee.  Jenny and I were stylishly dressed that Friday evening.  We were sitting on one of the benches overlooking the glimmering jet black ocean, talking about life the way best friends do after a good dinner.   We were content sitting in the chilly breeze, hearing the strong waves pound on the jagged rocks beneath us.

A young African American boy approached us alone, holding a box full of M&M's, Hersheys, Snickers, Starbursts and Reese's Pieces candy.  He approached us, not in the way a vendor selling at the LA Dodger Stadium would approach the crowd.  "Cuuuse me, would you buy some candy?" the boy asked in a shy soft-spoken voice. 

Jenny and I stopped our conversation and we both didn't pay any attention to the box of candy.  Instead, we looked at the boy with concern, and tried to make out his appearance in the dim moonlight.  He had to be no more than 9 years old, wearing only a navy blue long-sleeve shirt in the cold seashore wind.  What was he doing at the beach pier wandering around with a heavy box of candy alone?  And why isn't wearing a jacket?  It was a cold night for me, so I'm sure the kid must have been freezing.

"I'm sorry but we don't have any cash to buy candy from you," Jenny regretfully told the young boy.  We both felt bad for the kid.  I usually have cash in my little white leather wallet, a couple $20 bills. It usually prepared with coins, just in case I need to pay the parking meters, postage stamps and donate to those local charities that stand outside grocery stores.  Unfortunately, all I had in my wallet that evening was my debit Mastercard.  No cash, and no coins to offer the kid. 

I told the kid, "I have no cash to give you tonight. I'm sorry."  Feeling rejected, he walked away from us.  Jenny and I lost sight of him in the darkness and we both wondered about his parents. 

If I just had a $20, a $10, or even a $5, I would have just given it to the kid.  He needed to go home and be relieved from that cold seashore breeze.

Just thought I'd post one of my favorite pictures.  I posted my
favorite photos of 2007 on Facebook (if you have an account, feel free
to browse through it).  Here is one of the peaceful views of the Earl
Burns Miller Japanese Garden at Cal State Long Beach University.  At
every angle, I think it's one of the most gorgeous little secrets of
South Bay Los Angeles.  I went to CSULB's library last Sunday and I was
pretty impressed with how they renovated that building.  There is now a
new Starbucks on the first floor of the library?  The 2nd floor has a
section devoted to children's literature, which I always enjoyed
browsing through when I was taking my teacher credential courses there
(which was many years back). 

Today is a busy Sunday for me, but I'm looking forward to it.  After
church I have a website meeting with Lester.  I have to start writing
content for our church's new website.  We want it to be ready by
November.  I'm looking forward to seeing all the progress that has been
made.  It's a lot of work, but I am happy to do it! 

After the meeting, I'm meeting up with Eric to study with him.  He and
I are studying the GRE's together.  The good news is that Eric is
willing to practice with me, and that's a great thing!  If it were all
up to me, I'd retire from taking any standardized test!  The SAT's, the
CBEST, the RICA, the MSAT's always made me feel anxious.  Unfortunately
the GRE's is a requirement for me to apply into certain grad schools. 
Some universities do not require GRE's for their MA Education programs,
but I guess I just want to play it safe and do it anyway.  I don't want
the admissions board to question my grad school application and lessen
my chances of being admitted into the program. 

Then finally, tonight I am hosting a Spa Party at Valerie's house.  I
thought to myself about how I worked for Sephora last year and loved
the whole beauty and wellness retail industry, but didn't get
paid very much.  I got a lot of educational training from Sephora in
a short span of time, but I just don't know about working on the
weekends.  I'd rather not give up my weekends.  So I've picked up a
small-business gig, and it's been so much fun so far.  Because I love
the skincare and health products so much, I decided to pick up the side
job distributing/selling health and wellness products at my own pace
and schedule.  I'm really excited about it.  With this side-biz, my
mother was my toughest client ever because she
is so picky and stubborn.  She has no wrinkles for being in her
mid-50's, not even around her neck!  Isn't that awesome?  I hope I age
well like her.  She has been using her own Avon skincare line for the
longest time, but I was able to convince her to switch (not because I'm
her daughter, but she saw how great the products are).   Hope you are
excited with me, because
it's really great stuff!  And it's way better and cheaper than Dr.
Perricone's products too!

I don't consider myself, by any means, an entrepreneur--but it doesn't
hurt to make a little bit of money on the side while helping people,
right?  Looking back, I really think I get this quirk about wanting to
make a little bit of extra on the side from my own mother.  My mom is
not a workaholic, just a busybee.  She can't keep still and cannot
stand idle time!  Great at multi-tasking, great at organizing her
time.  Great at keeping in touch with her family and friends, no matter
how busy.  We tell her to relax, and she can't.  Imagine a person who's
way of relaxing is to fill out Avon orders and delivering them to
customers?  But I look at myself, and I'm a mirror image of my mom.  I
think it's scary to be like her, but I see that am becoming more and
more like my mother as I get older!  Oh my, how the apple ain't fallin'
far from the tree!

I've been a bit on the "down" side this week.  I think it's because I'm too hard on myself, and I have really high expectations.  I try not to go to sleep without crossing things off my "To Do" list.  I've been thinking about my need to just focus on what's important and let the other things go.  Most of all, I have to think about the things I do.  Is this task really worth doing?  Is this task really glorifying God (1 Corinthians 10:31)?  If it isn't going to make an impact, I'm probably going to scale it down as "low priority".  It's just this week.  It's been a very hard week.  I can't wait to wrap it up and get into Friday mode!

There are things that are going well, however, which I'm truly grateful for!  Last Saturday, I took a break from writing my NBC entry and took a trip to shop at the mall.  It was a good way for me to take my mind off of the stress I am dealing with.  I really wanted a swing jacket, and pretty much tried on every style and color of swing jackets the mall had hanging on the racks.  I didn't end up getting one because they were either too expensive or it didn't fit me.  I was bummed out.  Oh well!  I went home and tried to forget about what I wanted to have.

Sunday afternoon, Janssen called me up to have lunch at a Hawaiian restaurant.  It has been quite a long time since I last saw and hung out with my best friend, Janssen.  When I came to her house to pick her up, she greeted me with a Guess? shopping bag.  Inside the shopping bag was a very chic gray tweed Marciano swing jacket that perfectly fit me.  To be honest, Janssen had no clue I had wanted a swing jacket!  I never mentioned it to her.  I couldn't believe I had gotten a perfectly good swing jacket as a surprise present.  It wasn't my birthday and it wasn't Christmas.  It was just an ordinary Sunday.  I was surprised to receive it, and it was better than the ones I saw at the mall the day before.  In my heart I just whispered, "Thank you, Lord for my thoughtful friendJanssen and for this awesome swing jacket!  You are so thoughtful!"  I was so happy!  It made my day! 

In her act of thoughtfulness, I was reminded about how God is always finding moments to thoughtfully bless us in big and small ways, even if it's just a plain and ordinary day.